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The Blog from Oi Polloi presents: by Sam Waller •

This competition is now over. Congratulations to a man named D-Money for bagging the prize. His caption? “Look at these silly pricks, writing a caption about us for the sake of 50 sods, that’s probably a magazine and a pair of socks.”

Very clever, but not entirely true. You could get yourself a Tender mug too. 

Commiserations to all the losers out there. Maybe try harder next time.


It’s been quite some time since we’ve done one of these… so here you go – the Oi Polloi caption competition is back.

It's all pretty straightforward really; look at the photo above, have a bit of a think, come up with a caption and enter it in the comment box below. The funniest caption wins a £50 voucher to spend at Oi Polloi.

Please get your caption in by 12:00 noon on Tuesday the 15th of August otherwise your effort will be completely ignored.

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The people say...

  • 1


  • Hugo Bilton

    As these balls spin, so do we, drifting through the cosmos, unaware of what’s ahead…wow I’m sure up high

  • Alex Gillespie

    Mick Hucknall: “These balls aren’t going to juggle themselves! Hop on, Keith!”

    Keith Gillespie: “OKEEEEYYYYYYEH”


    Urbis fire poi mosh turned Chorlton earth dance

  • Vilhelm Sturén

    SpaceX got too many balls in the air.

  • Oles Moskalchuk

    Push the limit – save the climate !

  • Joey

    We’re stood here like this for £50?

  • Widnes Man

    We’ll need more balls and they’ll ALL have to stay in the air at the same time if we are to reacreate the European Union flag by nightfall.

  • ben morrison

    Spock’s impromptu juggling atop Kirk’s shoulders during a break in filming, kept the cast amused.

  • Chris Hawe

    After another day on the set of Stranger Things 2, Mike gave up trying to create a new universe from rocks and thought to himself “its time, I need some new clobber from OiPolloi!”
    It wasn’t only the blisters and bandages on his hands that was affecting his god like creativity but the mix of the deserts searing heat and a Canada Goose Jacket “what was i thinking!!”

  • John

    So, here we are, waiting for Dave’s balls to drop…

  • Luke Davies

    I was gonna take up juggling. Didn’t have the balls.

  • Steve Lee

    “Guys, GUYS, G U Y S!!! Is this Balearic?”

  • Adam McCartney

    What a load of balls


    And the bonus ball is

  • Nick Gower-Jones

    Hand stitched mexican buffalo hide juggling balls – only £79 each.

  • Michael Jones

    This isn’t what we had in mind for “strong and stable” lads

  • Donna Wakefield

    “0i! stop polloi-ing with those balls!”

  • James

    You’re crazy mad you are!
    I know right, up here on this guy’s shoulders juggling!?!
    Try that you’re wearing a down jacket in the desert?

  • Jake R

    After 30 minutes of attempting to bring attention to his new jacket, Bob gave up and went home.

  • JDN

    welcome to the Balearic Ballbag club

  • Joel Palser

    Man balancing juggler on shoulders: “Whatever you do, do not drop them juggling balls”.

    Juggler replies: “Whatever you do, do not drop me, this jacket is a rare Oi Polloi collab with….”

  • Tom L

    The Travelling Wilburys host countryfile

  • Joe P

    It was at this moment, blue coat turned around and walk off into the dessert to die in peace. The realisation he was never going to get laid spending his summers with 4 boys, 5 balls and a puffer jacket was all too much. RIP blue coat, gone but never forgotten… oh shit his name was Andy!

  • Olly Walker

    smiling through gritted teeth, “he better not f***ing drop one of those on my head”, he thought.

  • Joe Allen

    An early picture of the disagreement between the football hooligan corp of Queen and the rest of the band.

  • Pascal

    Winter is coming – A Song of down-jackets in desert

  • Tom Brearley

    Mother was surprised when her son had first asked if she would like him to display his balls

  • Daniel Reeves

    Casually dressed and cosmic egg juggling on the rocky road to nowhere

  • Tom Jordan

    Customs officer: “This is not appropriate for a passport photo sir.”

  • Kevin Mar-Molinero

    At the launch of the new Shaun Ryder Care drug prevention charity it soon became apparent the patron’s heart might not be in it

  • Paddy

    Photo. Or it never happened.

  • Adam Donnelly

    Man in the blue coat ‘’FML how did I end up with these t***s’’

  • James Pritchard

    Down and out!

  • Dan Haydock

    Phil’s sense of relief was evident, he had feared the worst when his boss exclaimed he would be doing some ‘magnificent tricks with his balls’ during this year’s annual team building trip.

  • Darren Maggs

    Pictured: The Oi Polloi despatch team at sale time.

  • Farid Nazrin

    Haters will say it’s photoshop!

  • Tom Wilson

    Get down you numpty you can’t juggle can ya!

  • Gareth P

    The final nail in the coffin of Britains Got Talent ………

  • Sam Wardle

    Jonny knew him and the lads would have to do something pretty special for that oi polloi voucher

  • Pedro

    Happiness is only real when shared…with an hippie juggle on your shoulders

  • MR Twatty Hilton , head of Geography Dept

    By 1984 everything had changed , cords ,bubble jackets , semi flares , crew necks and tweed were all juggled up in mr scruffs circus

  • Kyle Wilkins

    “Five get off their heads in the wilderness” by Enid Blyton

  • Clovis

    Ian Brown was having a hard time convincing John Squire of The Stone Roses’ new direction.

  • BL

    After a week in the desert, I had finally found the Salvador Dali Circus Academy. Or had I?

  • Jack Jones

    “Remember when we double dropped in Piccadilly Gardens? Heavy gear that – you swore down you were going to run away and join the circus.”

  • Tom Everest

    So have you heard this one about Owen Wilson, Will Ferrel and the geezer from The Charlatans (from left to right) and the juggling balls….

  • Tristan

    “I came to Yosemite for sweet climbing and the babes.. Tossing balls with Hanson was not on the agenda”

  • Sam J

    Colin thought to himself, “How is this going to impress the ladies when I’ve just shit my pants”

  • Sam

    At the weekly ‘Hikeraholics Anonymous Meeting’ Simon said he’d rather juggle another man’s balls then pretend he liked walking somewhere for the enjoyment of walking

  • Jack

    It was to be a weekend full of surprises for the gang, who would forever wish they had researched the Gathering of the Juggalos before they’d bought their tickets.

  • Emil Corsillo

    1972, Joshua Tree National Forest: Yvon Chouinard and Doug Tompkins doing their best Joshua tree impression

  • Myles Labhaya

    “Haha that’s great…….but in all seriousness is there an oi polloi round here or?”

  • Sam Jones

    Let’s spice up our sex lives and let people watch while you juggle my balls

  • Some Fella

    Expedition rule no. 1: no mushrooms at base camp.

  • Cep Hunter

    “Right, bollocks to this,” says the lad in the blue quilted jacket, “the art director’s obviously lost his mind. I’m off to Ixtlan to find Carlos Castaneda..”

  • Adam Chard

    Having watched an episode of David Attenborough’s life on earth, Andy felt suitably inspired by the courtship display of the Satin Bowerbird.
    Sheryl still thought Andy a nobhead.

  • Jordi Rocha

    A Parabola of Dunces: Wherein the idea of vertical pétanque gave Jack both a whiff of Stuart’s rancid, shoeless feet, and a moderate concussion– but at least the Jack was hit!

  • Mickey Miller

    Oi……on my head son…!!

  • D-Money

    “Look at these silly pricks, writing a caption about us for the sake of 50 sods, that’s probably a magazine and a pair of socks”

  • Kenny

    Bunch of blokes having fun while waiting for UFO sightings.

  • Silvan Sooksatan

    Steve: “We need a way to signal someone in this desert to help fix the car. Do we got a flare gun or something?”
    Willy 6 Balls: “No…but we have a show.”
    John: “God dammit Willy. I’m walking home.”

  • Silvan Sooksatan

    Steve: “We need a way signal someone to help fix the car in this desert. Do we got a flare gun or something?”
    Willy 6 Balls: “No…but we have a show.”
    John: “God dammit Willy. I’m walking home.”

  • amrit

    come on mom , take the dang picture

  • Nicholas Grenier

    As the big top rolled into town, disturbing a contemplative Brian, he suddenly remembered Uncle Dave’s sage advice…

    How do you kill a circus?

    Go for the juggler.

  • Andi

    I’d love to stay and watch but that big boulders got," great location for a shite" written all over it.

  • Bradley Hambridge

    “Why must you watch as I play with my balls?”

  • Colin John Mitchell

    At least I can rely on those nutty guys at Oi Polloi not to make a balls up.

  • Kev Smalley

    Walking up boulders or juggling on shoulders?

  • BC

    “Just get on his sholders we’ll photoshop the balls in”

  • Mick D

    “with this juggling style we will be head and shoulders above the rest”

  • Clive

    5 years after winning Britains got talent George wasn’t getting many bookings!

  • Alexey

    “Look, Ma, no brains!”

  • Alexey

    “Look, Ma, no brains!”

  • Joe Lyward

    Oi Polloi lookbook A/W 2020

  • Nik Wakefield

    The guy in blue watched for as long as he could before deciding to return home with his trademark can of light baked beans. The others continued watching the not unhippy circus steal the spotlight from khaki rocks and some sky.

  • Henry

    The Beatles + Mum ,are very lost

  • Tim Peachment

    After Thunderdome closed down Master Blaster found it hard to find regular work.

  • Kristan

    “I wonder how many likes we will get on this picture.”

  • Gareth Lunt

    United colors of benetton models found alive

  • RIch Staite

    Man Below – “Told you I could juggle 8 balls…”

  • James Hunt

    Geezer in the blue jacket: ‘I didn’t mind the crazy golf one, even mooching about Costco wasn’t too bad…but this is bollocks’

  • D Redfearn

    Fella in Blue That’s it I’m taking my can home !!

  • Tom O

    Fella in blue: “Every fuckin’ time”

  • Kostia Malkov

    “Stay calm and keep juggling, I really need Oi Polloi voucher to get that jacket.”

  • Tom Hodgson

    Despite having all of their musical equipment stolen on their European tour, Mac Demarco and the band decided to go ahead with their recreation of Pink Floyd’s ‘Live at Pompeii’ concert.

  • Derek

    (the woman says) ‘Oh look Jeffrey, a juggling hipster’.‘I do hope he falls and hurts himself’.

  • Sam

    Although it was an admittedly impressive combination of timing, balance and vertical leap prowess, Jakes friends all agreed his version of the bunny ears gag was a little OTT.

  • Douglas Ormiston

    Turd juggle

  • Chris

    “Balls. We need balls.”

  • Dan

    This weeks lottery balls are set 2, and from the guy stood on Craig Mclachlans shoulders

  • Simeon Linger

    With ET behind a rock manipulating the balls with his dodgy pointy finger, Eliot & Michael were raking it in with their shiesty desert carnival.

  • Jamie Nicholson

    August’s Pica Post got a bit out of hand.

  • Kyle Wilkins

    Liam Gallagher and David Hasselhoff’s new double act didn’t pull in the crowds they were expecting

  • Sam Hodkinson

    I wish my balls would just drop

  • Paul Chadwick

    There’s no money in juggling mate, try Oi Polloi’s Caption Contest to win fifty smackers

  • Johnny Nobody

    If Oi Polloi sold balls.. …It would probably be the best avert in the world

  • Barry Dean

    No standing on the hard shoulder………….

  • Gregory

    ‘I said can you get help I’ve got a pain in my jugular, not can you get me a painful juggler’

  • Ed Owen

    woman on the left “Yeah that’s great Steve, but the rave is over those rocks another half mile. Can we listen to some tunes first?”

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