The Blog from Oi Polloi presents:

It’s been a while since we’ve done one of these, so without further ado... here’s one of our caption competitions.

Come up with something half decent for that picture above, write it in the comments bit below and you might win yourself £50 to spend here at Oi Polloi.

Get your caption in before Thursday the 9th of June otherwise we'll ignore it (even if it's dead good).

And please, please, please put a bit of effort in here, or at least make sure your caption is legible.

Good luck.

-------------------------------------

This competition has finished. Congratulations to Matthew Coulston for winning. His caption? "Your calls may be monitored for research porpoises." Genius.

Commiserations to all you losers, maybe try a bit harder next time. 

Newer Back to The Blog Older

The people say...

  • Winner?

    Who won?

  • Scrap

    The Scots drown their sorrows after failing Euro qualification, with a Wee tune on the water bagpipes.

    Hoots man.

  • Matthew

    Willy wasn’t freed for this shit.

  • Liam Kennerk

    This isn’t the first time they promised me fish

  • Stefanie Jones

    If you want to talk to the dolphin, you ave to to talk to me…

  • Freya

    ‘its what David Attenborough would’ve wanted’

  • Matthew

    Man teaches dolphin how to love

  • Shaun Mac

    I was only going out for abit

  • Daniel Titmus

    80’s porn star and scissorhand’s ride unicorn dolphin

  • LW

    Zombie Marty Mcfly looks on in horror.

  • Matt Walker

    Latest release from Sex-toi-polloi…

  • Sam

    As much as his mates encouraged him, Depp became increasingly wary that his Pirates of the Balearics concept was going to struggle at the box office.

  • Phil Hall

    Flipper told them he was having none of that unicorn fancy dress but they were carrying him to the fishcoteque regardless.

  • Rick Haswell

    Good news Flipper…we’ve found you a new home at Cincinnati Zoo.

  • Turtle

    Now we’ve got the vibrator in her blow-hole, the other orifices are all yours mate.

  • Charlie Brownsword

    Please do not flip, my tash needs to remain in tact.

  • Graham Hampton

    SCENE 3: ON THE STREET

    Rodney: Why’s it always me and Uncle Albert carrying the dolphins down the market, Del?

    Delboy: Well it don’t fit in the van does it, you plonker!

    (canned laughter)

    (Trigger enters scene)

    Trigger: Alright Dave?

    (extended canned laughter)

    (Trigger leaves scene)

    Rodney: Why’s he still calling me Dave?

    Delboy: Thing is with Trigger, he’s not all there; know what I mean? Anyway, give him a break, he’s not doing it on porpoise!

    (canned laughter)

    Rodney: That’s not blimmin funny Del; this thing weighs a tonne!

    (canned laughter)

    Uncle Albert: This reminds me of the war.

    (canned laughter)

    Delboy: I bet you saw loads of fish the amount of times your boats got sunk, you silly ol’ git!

    (extended canned laughter)

    Rodney: Come on Albert, we ain’t got time for your poxy war stories, let’s just get this down the market, now.

    Dolphin: Eeeeeeeik, Eeeeeeeik, Eeeeeeeeeeik

    Delboy: What’s he sayin? What’s he sayin?!

    Rodney: How the hell would I know, Del? It’s a blimmin dolphin!

    (canned laughter)

    Delboy: Well, you got all them GCE’s ain’t you?!

    (extended canned laughter)

    (Dolphin goes limp)

    Delboy/Rodney/Uncle Albert: (in unison) Oh no!!

    (extended canned laughter)

    (END OF SCENE)

  • Graham Hampton

    SCENE 3: ON THE STREET

    Rodney: Why’s it always me and Uncle Albert carrying the dolphins down the market, Del?

    Delboy: Well it don’t fit in the van does it, you plonker!

    Trigger: Alright Dave?

    Rodney: Why’s he still calling me Dave?

    Delboy: Thing is with Trigger, he’s not all there; know what I mean? Anyway, give him a break, he’s not doing it on porpoise!

    Rodney: That’s not blimmin funny Del; this thing weighs a tonne!

    Uncle Albert: This reminds me of the war.

    Delboy: I bet you saw loads of fish the amount of times your boats got sunk, you silly ol’ git!

    Rodney: Come on Albert, we ain’t got time for your poxy war stories, let’s just get this down the market, now.

    Dolphin: Eeeeeeeik, Eeeeeeeik, Eeeeeeeeeeik

    Delboy: What’s he sayin? What’s he sayin?!

    Rodney: How the hell would I know, Del? It’s a blimmin dolphin!

    Delboy: Well, you got all them GCE’s ain’t you?!

    Delboy/Rodney/Uncle Albert: Oh no!!

  • PHil Myerscough

    It’s inflatables day at the ethiad and Adam Johnson goes a bit too far as usual.

  • Jack Vickers

    “You know, Brian, when you said ‘do you fancy going for a bottlenose’ I thought it was because you were a CAMRA member”

  • Nathan.

    Is it fully charged yet?

  • Craig Brittain

    That inflatable dolphin we won on ebay looks very realistic

  • Daniel Stock

    Inside the mind of a dolphin – “this guy at the hose end looks a bit like William H. Macy. I should definitely watch Fargo again soon…”

  • Oliveira

    Please, do not bash this dolphin’s head in. He asked specifically for the folk socks i have back at the boat.

  • Gaz Olden

    Swim with hipsters the rep said, it will be fun the rep said. Well, he can forget that bloody coach trip now!!

  • Daniel Fagan

    Michael Jackson (Zombiefied version from ‘Thriller’ video) swims with dolphin (with sword in head).

  • James Hunt

    After the success of the Grenfell crazy golf feature the Oi Polloi boys launch their forthcoming Ocean Pacific collaboration with a spot of crazy dolph…

  • Andrew Harbidge

    When I said I wanted Finn Comfort this wasnt what I meant.

  • Andy

    “I reckon your Mam will definitely have me back when she sees this.”

  • Jacob Masters

    Parallel Universe: Dolphin goes to Florida to swim with Gary Oldman and blind Özil.

  • Sean Ryan

    Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and wanna to go to bed….

  • Al Bowker

    So its taken a while for Hall and Oats to find their new musical direction, their new EP ‘Clameater’ will be out on vinyl next week

  • Si Jones

    Messrs Reed and Bowie. Transformer post production sessions 1972.

  • Paul

    - Steve, did you attach that to his snout accidentally?
    - No Nigel, it was on porpoise

  • SNB

    “How do you think the experiment is going Jim”?

    “Sonar, so good!”

  • Me

    “The Number 1 rule Todd, is to treat the dolphin the way you would treat a beautiful woman…”

  • Mr Brennan

    Although Seaworld were disappointed at having to phase out their Killer whale shows they hoped the new ‘Dolphin Tug of War’ expo would prove just as popular.. Response to date has been muted.

  • Nick Todd

    Dolphin you, forget about me…

  • rick

    I swear to God Cliff – the guy that sold you this dolphin dream catcher was off his face.

  • Gary SMITH

    “I’m not sure this Unicorn we bought is 100% right….”

  • Tommy

    The nepenthes lads were happy to help Daiki research his SS16 dolphin print. Ecco was less enthused about the personal massager in the blowhole.

  • Lance Laoyan

    Come on mate, you’ve had one too many Jägerbombs.

    But i’m a dolphin…

  • Sean

    We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

  • Peter H

    The papparazi were quick to spot Tom Selleck (magnam pi) and Bear Grills try to sneak some snide lunch onto survival island without the other contestants noticing.

  • Greg Spencer

    (Dolphin)
    They’re taking this dolphin friendly tuna lark a bit far.

  • Michael McHale

    Ok we have Flipper, that just leaves Pelican Pete to catch and Flipper The Reunion is definitely on!

  • Karl Salter

    Please stop smiling, I like my moustache

  • Ineligible to Win

    Two men grip dolphin whilst carrying out scientific research. There is also a boat with a cameraman on it floating in the background.

  • Morgan Williams

    Yer Da’s took the divorce well…

  • Dan

    Whilst the WWF did not condone the use of the headlock the WWF did, and signed him up soon after.

  • Pete.

    Terry, ive told you i need to attach the mind reading kit to the big fish to check your camo makeup is the right shade for sea fishing!

  • Samuel O'Malley

    ‘Why did I have to do this naked again?’

  • Adrian

    Can we catch this all the way to Canal Side cafe bar ?

  • Jack Turner

    But it was no use. The dolphin bagpipes they had fashioned would simply not work underwater.

  • Bobby B

    EXCLUSIVE: Jarvis Cocker in ‘’dolphin threesome shocker’’

  • Matthew Coulston

    Your calls may be monitored for research Porpoises.

  • Martin

    Well, that’s the bog unblocked but I think I plunged too hard.

  • Cameron Beattie

    You need to leave
    Do you know who i am
    You’ve had too much
    I’m dolphin lundgren

  • Jack Painter

    Free willy

Leave a comment