No.404

THE PANIC IN CRINGLE PARK:

Nowt to do with that grisly film where Al Pacino's a bit too keen on stuffing junk into his veins, this edition of the Deck~Out actually aims to shine a light on a rarely-discussed slice of Manchester history.

See, when Cringle Park (in the borough of Levenshulme, for those less acquainted with Greater Manchester's various zones) first opened, its moniker provoked the ire of none other than Julius Pringles* himself.

Why you ask? Well, Julius, along with his cronies at Kellog's, had just approved the patent for the experimental and controversial Cringle – a Pringle with ridges. When these nefarious suits caught wind of a park opening bearing the name of a product that hadn't even reached the market, Julius suspected foul play.

Being the ruthless businessman he was, Julius wasted no time in deploying members of the private Pringles militia to Manchester, where they immediately fought fierce battles with the then-newly formed Cringle Park Freedom Fighters. Causalities piled high on both sides, but Julius' private militia couldn't withstand the passionate might of the CPFF. Julius' forces ran off with their tails between the legs, and the Cringle was quickly pulled from production, never to be heard from again...

The outfit above is our best approximation of what a typical CPFF soldier might've worn during one of the many skirmishes. Let us honour their valour and bravery forever...

*this is the only part of the Deck~Out that's true – the Pringles mascot is called Julius Pringles.