ADVICE FOR MEETING THE IN-LAWS:
1 – Upon your arrival, eat an entire jar of Bovril. It'll show you mean business, and have a taste for exotic flavours.
2 – Always wear crisp cotton overshirts with compasses on the arm.
3 – If someone asks you to talk about yourself, jump into an in-depth rant about your favourite motorway service stations. Everyone's impressed by a man who's travelled.
4 – Loudly beat-boxing in someone's face is always a sure-fire way to earn respect.
5 – If someone offers you food, reject it and eat another jar of Bovril instead. It'll show how committed you are.
6 – Insult your father in-law's collection of Red Dwarf memorabilia to assert your dominance.
7 – Rainbow-striped t-shirts are always a good conversation starter.
8 – If all else fails, just keep silent. Mystique should never be scoffed at.