THE ABOMINABLE SNOW BOY
After years stuck behind his father’s frosty shadow, the Abominable Snow Boy decided that living in an icy cave, eating weird coloured snow and being cold all the time wasn't for him.
It was time to leave the nest, abandon his old life as a creature of myth and head to the big smoke. He stuffed his wintry pockets full of essentials, kissed his mam on the cheek and took the first Virgin Antarctic train to Manchester.
At first things were pretty rosy for our cryptozoological pal – he enjoyed being a city-slicker, he was the centre of attention, and he was loved by all thanks to his ability to conjure up Mr Freeze Ice Pops whenever he pleased.
But just when it was all coming together… tragedy struck. Mystical ice men and humid clubs seldom mix well, and after getting giddy whilst dancing to nouveau trap bangers in some dingy basement without air conditioning, he was reduced to nothing more than a large puddle on the sticky carpet.
All his friends could do to help was chuck his remains in their 99p drinks and have a refreshing, thirst quenching toast to his memory.
When the Abominable Snow Boy's father heard of this, he bitterly swore revenge against all those that reside in the city. And that's why Manchester has such awful weather. Presumably.
- Stone Island
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