Oi Polloi

No.286

Published: Thu Jun 16 2016

The Human Sale Rail

Since the advent of the internet, the dark arts of marketing, advertising and just plain ol’ selling stuff have gone pretty mental. Weird adverts follow you about as you surf the net, geo-targeted drones hover outside your bedroom window trying to sell discount sofas and we’ve recently heard of a local greengrocers releasing mind controlling chem-trails into the atmosphere to convince people to buy Kiwi fruits.

We don’t really understand how all this stuff works, so we’ve opted for the next best thing – the human sale rail. It’s basically just a lad we pay to walk around town shouting dead loudly in a mildly aggressive tone about our summer sale. Yep, marketing is pretty easy when you think about it.

The Human Sale Rail is 6'2" and wears...

  1. Arpenteur Stade Jacket
    (Evian Blue Sail Gabardine)
    Size L
  2. A Kind of Guise Mindelo T-Shirt
    (White)
    Size XL
  3. Reigning Champ Heavyweight Sweatpants
    (Heather Grey)
    Size Large
  4. Nike Tennis Classic AC
    (White / Coastal Blue / Gum Medium Brown)
    Size UK 10
  5. Polo Ralph Lauren Classic Sport Cap
    (White / Marlin Blue)