Oi Polloi


Published: Fri Feb 07 2014

Barry Cuta

Barry Cuta wasn’t always called Barry Cuta — he was once a sharp, respectable character known as David Stevenson. He had a wife, a good job and a nice house down in Didsbury. He even had a golden retriever named Ben. But somewhere down the line, something went wrong… a jacket caught his eye in a shop window. He’s seen golf jackets before, but none quite as nice as this. He bought it without hesitation. The seed was planted, and what started out as a mere outerwear preference quickly escalated out of control. One jacket became ten jackets, ten jackets became a hundred and before he knew it, he’d divorced his wife, jetted over to Las Vegas and tied the knot with the real object of his affections. He’s now undergoing drastic hormone realignment to become a Baracuta G9 himself. In fact, he’s already developed an elasticated hem. If you’re reading this Barry — your family are not ashamed, they just want to know that you’re okay.