No.250

Forget giant lizards ruling the world and Elvis’s fake death, we’re about to blow the doors open to the biggest conspiracy of all — sleep. Think about it, do you really need to sleep, or have you just been brainwashed by the mattress industry into THINKING you need to sleep? It’s time to wake up and smell the Horlicks, sleep is just another thing that the marketing puppet-masters have convinced us that we need. Just look at this chap here, he’s hasn’t slept for nine weeks now and, apart from the fact he’s forgotten his own name, he’s doing just fine.