Oi Polloi


Published: Fri Oct 11 2013

The New Zoo Keeper

The new zoo keeper is a very nice man indeed. It’s not that we didn’t like the old one, but the new one is such a top bloke we felt it would be rude not to sing his praises a bit. He’s always the first to arrive, and always the last to leave, and if there’s anyone who knows anything about animals, it’s him. Yessir, things certainly seem to be running smoothly down at the zoo. Alright, there was that rhino that went missing, but that could happen anywhere couldn’t it? He’s a pretty snappy dresser too, who else would think to pair fleece trousers with a rhino skin jac… hang on — a rhino skin jacket? No, it may seem odd that he only started wearing this a few days after Ryan the Rhino disappeared, but he couldn’t have, he wouldn’t have. But why don’t the sharks have teeth anymore? And what happened to the elephant’s tusks? Come to think of it, the new zoo keeper does bear a striking resemblance to that convicted poacher who escaped from prison a few months ago, but didn’t he have short hair? But yeah, as we were saying, the new zoo keeper is a very nice man indeed.