Oi Polloi


Published: Fri Oct 04 2013

Professor Fantabuloso’s Cabinet of Curios

Overnight the signs appeared. All through the town small notices engraved in mammoth tooth could be seen hanging from lampposts and perched in alcoves. PROFESSOR FANTABULOSO’S CABINET OF CURIOS IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS. Who? In our town? What’s a curio? Do I need one? The gathering crowd was soon reduced to a gaggle of gossip, but before they could come up with any concrete rumours they were interrupted by a rather unkempt street urchin. “Mr, Mrs, come an’ look at the old oak tree in the town square, it’s great, it’s marvellous, it’s… why, it’s fantabulous.” Tugging at the shirt tails of the mayor, the lowly urchin led the mob through the town until they came to the great oak tree that had stood in the centre of town for the last 300 years. And there it was, carved into the trunk of the majestic tree was a shop.

The people of the town wasted no time and were soon crammed inside. Every inch of the modestly sized shop was taken up with an otherworldly delight — necklaces made from kitten’s faces, sofas upholstered with turkey wattle and a miniscule chess set whittled out of hummingbird beaks all vied for the attention of the horde. But by far the most curious of all the curios curiosities was Professor Fantabuloso himself. Maybe it was because he insisted on talking backwards, or perhaps it was the fact he had a fully grown vulture perched on his shoulder, but the people of the town couldn’t help but feel uneasy as he stared down at them from behind the counter. After swearing they’d come back and buy something, the crowd slowly shuffled out of the shop. No one ever bought anything though as it was all a bit mental and now it’s a Cash Converters.