Oi Polloi


Published: Fri Aug 02 2013

A letter from ze front line

To my darling Francoise,

I ‘ope zis letter finds you well. It ‘as been over zix months now zince I was called upon to zerve our country on ze battlefield, and in turn, over zix months zince I last zaw your face. I would zay ‘ow zorry I am for my lack of correspondence, but zat would be lying — I ‘am zimply ‘aving zuch a good time I haven’t even thought of you. ‘Av you zeen ze tank I get to drive? And ze jacket I get to wear? Sacrebleu! Why would I waste time reading your ‘artfelt words? Please refrain from zending your zilly little letters, and please don’t bother waiting by ze town clock like we arranged. I won’t be zer.

(Up) yours sincerely,