Oi Polloi


Published: Fri Mar 15 2013

Kurtz at the beach

The fine outfit you’re looking at here is what we reckon Colonel Kurtz would wear if, instead of being holed up in the jungle muttering things about snails, he operated from the golden sands of Hawaii. While we’re at it, let’s rethink the whole story of Apocalypse Now and imagine how much better it would be if it was set in Hawaii. Instead of the cow slaughter scene there’d be a much more vegetarian-friendly coconut massacre, the bits where civilians get gunned down would be replaced with something to do with ukuleles, and instead of it being a war film it would be about surfing. What? Apocalypse Now was about surfing anyway? Back to the drawing board…