Oi Polloi

No.129

Published: Thu Jun 07 2012

Not a lot of people know this, but over the last few years, Soviet spies have been gathering data from our Deck-Out series in a bid to create the ultimate Deck-Out. After collecting the data in a supercomputer and combining it with a few hairs they got off a jumper they bought from Mr Brown, a willing young doctor volunteered himself to be the first test, and on one cold, rainy night in a laboratory seven miles underground, he became Dr Deck Out. Just one look at that cold stare behind those Ray-Bans and you can tell he’s the product of top-secret genetic modification, vigorous Ivan Drago style high-tech workouts and the odd lesson on colour coordination and layering. He may have the odd side-effect (when he gets angry he turns a lovely melange green), but you’ve got to admit he does look pretty slick, and it seems he’s even inherited our love for bad puns. A Gitman Bros. shirt with boat decks on? Yep, he’s Dr Deck-Out alright…