Oi Polloi


Published: Wed Aug 10 2011

Mr Harris as... The Wannabe Lifeguard

When is a lifeguard not a lifeguard? When he can’t swim is the answer. This beach-bound bloke has harboured yearnings to be heroic for many years. He knows all the genuine lifeguards and hangs out with them all day. Sometimes he borrows his nephew’s high-chair and sits atop it, poised to spring into the water like a young Hasselhoff. But whenever this situation arises, he holds back in the frustrating knowledge he can’t actually swim. It’s a good job he has such a great dress-sense then isn’t it?